The Older Man and the Younger Woman - Part 1

The Older Man and the Younger Woman                                Part 1

   Looking back forty two years, I’m gonna change my mind about “the younger woman.” I met my future wife lo those many years ago. I was a young man of 22, and she was a pretty good looking gal with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a very nice figure. I couldn’t resist. I asked her for a date, she said “no.”

   Let me give you some background. Up to that point in my life, my charm with the ladies had not yet developed into what it is today. Guess I just lacked the confidence, and maybe I wasn’t as handsome then as now. Now though, I was fresh out of the Army, complete with a tour in Vietnam. I looked death straight in the eye, I could take on anything. Nothing could happen worse to me than what I had just recently survived. A “no” couldn’t bother me anymore. And another boost to my confidence was my 1967 Pontiac GTO. It was sleek, fast, and unbeatable on the street, a true “Muscle Car” envied by most of my friends. I didn’t need charm, I had my GTO, what girl could resist.

   I guess it worked. When I confronted her “No”, she simply replied, I’m only 17. To which I demanded proof, and she obliged by showing me her driver's license. There it was, in black and white, 17 years old…jail bate (as we use to call those under 18 back then). Well I was sunk, too young…but worth a risk? No wonder the other guys put me on to her. They’d struck out too. They knew I’d get a “no.” Stupid as I was, being an adult over 21, I kept going back to the greasy spoon where she was working as a waitress. Something in her smile, and her eyes, just kept me going back for another look. Finally she agreed to take a ride around the town in my car, like I said, "what girl could resist.” And I think the car was more impressive than I was, after all it was a '67 GTO, speed and power on steroids.

   This sort of “seeing each other” thing went on over the course of six months, never any real “dates” just visits at functions, or her house. Then the magic day came. She turned 18 and 3 days later we were married. I had me a gen-u-wine “hot young wife."  Ooo-eee, what man could ask for more? Did my dream come true? Most of my friends were thinking “how the world did he pull that off?” Truthfully…I don’t know either, but that was then, and then was good. It was great. 

   Now…it is still good, but some problems have come up. The 5 year age difference started to show up, I couldn’t keep up, I should say I couldn't (and still can't) keep ahead of her. Seems she's always one step ahead of me. Anyway...

   I thought here was this beautiful young woman, dumb blonde if you will, that doesn’t know much. I’ll be her Knight in shining armor. I’ll be the King, and she’ll be my Queen.  Little did I know, and as time went on, I found out the King has little real power, and even less authority. Somewhere along the way this young girl developed a mind of her own. She had her own thoughts as to how this was going to work. I don’t know how or when it happened, but I think she slipped something in my coffee one day that somehow gave her complete control. Maybe I worked to much, was away from the castle too long. Maybe she plotted with the children, and they staged a coup. I haven't figured it out yet. One of the early signs was when I was given an “allowance”; she needed the rest to pay bills. An allowance, what the...  Later it was her deciding what car we would buy. Suddenly my choices weren’t right, me the former mechanic. I knew more about cars than she did, right? Damn, I had fallen into the trap. She had become the buyer and made me the buyee. I was just there to say “sure, sounds good to me, if you say so.” Once in a while, if I got brave, I might ask, "how much was it?" It has been that way ever since. What ever spell she put on me, it seems to be permanent. I think that women should come with a warning label. I think Avon has a secret ingredient in there “Night Magic” perfume (which she always wears). There is no Secret Victoria; I know what that clothing does to men. Now they show it on TV, during the game no less, just to keep us under the spell. Men beware…they have taken away our self control. Hypnotized us with there feminine charms. “Honey, will you come here?” And you’re off to see what they want. Thanks be to the “geeks” we now have DVRs. I have recorded a lot of important must see stuff the last few years.

   Use to be when a guy came home from work, he’d be greeted by the wife and “dinner will be ready in a few minutes, why don’t you relax.” Well that all changed when the gals started getting jobs. Now my wife is still working, and I’m retired (?) (which is a bone of contention by it’s self). The shoe is on the other foot and I’m supposed to have the meal ready and the housework done. I started out okay, feigning ignorance, but she cured that with the List. "No excuses, I left you a list,” she says. To make sure the list is seen she puts it on my computer keyboard, lord the woman doesn’t miss a trick. I’ve tried on several occasions to outwit, out think, get ahead of the game, but to no avail. How she got so smart I’ll never know.

   I feel like Darren on the TV show, I think I was Bewitched. (If you don’t know who that was, look it up). It’s the way they talk, the way they walk. It’s the smile, the eyes, girls are made for trickery. Hypnotists, mind readers, magicians, pick-pockets every one of them. They can empty your wallet, and you are helpless, and you sit there watching. We are powerless saps, fruit ripe for the picking. My father warned me about younger women, but I thought with a young naive girl like this it couldn’t happen to me. I have also discovered that the female species learn their craft early. As a Grandpa now, my grand daughters are honing their skills using me as the whetstone that sharpens their loving claws deep in a man’s heart. “I love you Grandpa.” That is how it all starts, melting your inner man to mush, and you can’t say “no!” They are the new “Younger Women” in your life. The cycle of life continues. 

   (More on this subject later)